"However much Playgirl paid Levi Johnston for that photo shoot, it wasn't enough....And, psst, Levi? If you did that Playgirl shoot only to drive your former future mother-in-law crazy—and if that was your plan, kiddo, it worked—imagine how much crazier she'll get if you do a little gay-for-pay porn. Just sayin'."
--Dan Savage.
Now that everyone's recovered from the annual insulin overdose that is Halloween, Dan Savage has something to say about the annual parade of kids who are too cool for school:
For these trick-or-treaters—older kids who aren't in costumes—we lay in a few bags of peeled-and-wrapped garlic cloves. We mix 'em into the bowl with the rest of the candy so they're handy, but we're careful to only give 'em to older kids who don't come in costume. The garlic says, "My, you're getting up there," and, "Gee, you could at least make an effort." We think everybody should do it.
"The Bell Shoals Baptist Church in Brandon, Florida, made the news last week when its pastor replaced the megachurch's 10 Pepsi vending machines with 10 Coke machines. The pastor felt that Pepsi was far too supportive of—can you guess?—"the gay lifestyle."What I found most remarkable about this story wasn't the stupidity—more on that in a moment—but the fact that a single church in Florida has 10 soda-pop vending machines. Ten! You would think the good Christians at Bell Shoals could make it through an hour or two on a Sunday without a cold can of corn syrup.
And psst... Bell Shoals? Coke supports gay rights, too. Your best gay-hatin' soda-pop option may be ZamZam Cola. It was a subsidiary of Pepsi, true, but that was before the Islamic Revolution. Made in Iran, ZamZam Cola is the most popular soft drink in Saudi Arabia, and I'm guessing the good folks at ZamZam don't like the gays any more than you do. But if the "soft drink of the Hajj" doesn't appeal to you, Bell Shoals, how about asking your parishioners to go without soda pop for an hour a week?"
I think if your church is so obviously taken over by greed, what's a little gluttony to go along with it?
And I love every last minute of it. Money quote:
"Note to Bill Donohue: Yes, I've confused the virgin birth with the Immaculate Conception. So sue me, motherfucker."Oh, you better watch out, Dan; Donohue claims to have 300,000 members of the League of Extraordinary Catholics at his beck and call. Never mind the fact that it's probably just him and his equally prudish wife, and the 300,000 figure was pulled out of his ass. The man is an apologist for the worst crimes of the Catholic Church, and should be laughed at whenever possible.
I don't do much tv of any kind, let alone reality tv. (Well, OK...Cops). So I'd be in a hotel room someplace for my job and I'd run into this program with an Asian-heritage guy and his blond wife with a shit-ton of kids running around and wonder what the point of the show was.
Turns out the point of the show was to showcase an Asian-heritage guy and his blond wife and their shit-ton of kids running around.
Oh.
Well, now that Jon-n-Kate are on the verge of sorting out divorce and visitation rights for 8 kids, Dan Savage has an excellent commentary over on Slog:
"Twice I've been offered—twice—a "reality show" about my family life. One was for the same fee Jon & Kate are getting: 50K per episode. All we'd have to do is allow camera crews into our home, allow them to follow the kid around, allow them to follow me around at work and Terry at home. "Insanely permissive sex columnist by day," went one of the pitches, "strictly traditional dad by night." I didn't have to ask the boyfriend: I turned both offers down flat. A reality show? I wouldn't do that to my boyfriend, I wouldn't do that to our kid, I wouldn't do that to myself. And if I had been tempted by the offers—it was a lot of money—just the look on my boyfriend's face when I told him about the first offer—an offer I'd already turned down—made it clear that my saying "yes" to a reality show meant saying "hello" to his Canadian divorce lawyer."Smart guy.
From a podcast of episode 379 of This American Life. It's an apt commentary of a man who says the mind keeps getting in the way of faith. Money quote:
"I go to church about as often as I go to Planned Parenthood for a pap smear."It does, however, speak eloquently of how he still hopes to see his beloved mother in heaven. Savage's bit begins at the 37-38 minute mark.
In other words, no more abstinence-only sex education:
"The President's FY2010 budget was released this morning (you can search through all 1376 pages here) and among the proposed changes it includes is the elimination of Community-Based Abstinence Education (CBAE) funding. Under the Bush administration, CBAE grants went to programs that teach kids the only way to prevent pregnancy and avoid sexually-transmitted infections is to postpone sex until marriage. Budget language explicitly prevented those programs from providing students "any other education regarding sexual conduct."As I explained in the magazine a couple of months ago, abstinence-only programs have not proven nearly as successful as approaches that combine the message that abstinence is a good goal for teenagers (see: Bristol Palin) with comprehensive and accurate education about contraception, disease prevention, and decision-making skills."
Dan Savage, appropos of his name, is more direct--it not only fails, it backfires spectacularly. (NSFW)
For those of you not in the loop, Savage is a sex advice columnist. No topic is off limits. If you could use a good laugh (and if you're not at work, it's NSFW), go here:
Dan Savage:
"We really need to start a false witness project, a website that documents and debunks the lies peddled by the religious right. For people who want to see the Ten Commandments in public buildings—with its commandment against bearing false witness—conservative Christians bear false witness constantly."The only problem there is that it would take a full-time staff working for no pay to keep up with the load.
Is it really possible that these raving anti-gay bigots have more gay friends between them than I do? I somehow doubt it. So reporters should stop taking this "but I've got gay friends!" on faith. Anti-gay politicians, entertainers, and preachers shouldn't be allowed to take rhetorical cover behind gay friends if they're unable to produce any.So you've got gay friends? Great. Bring 'em to a press conference—we've got some questions we'd like to ask them.
Via Sullivan.
"Oh, Canada: While we scream and yell about being the land of the free, you quietly live it. I love how my boyfriend magically becomes my husband when we visit Canada, without anyone else's marriage being threatened. Here's hoping that one day soon the United States will recognize the legal marriages of all Canadian citizens, gay and straight."
Seattle weekly newspaper The Stranger hosts an annual Valentine's Day Bash. Simple concept: you bring a memento of a failed relationship to the stage, you tell your sob story, and Stranger Editor Dan Savage destroys it as part of the healing process. Here it is in all its blemished beauty.
The Roberta Flack is a lovely touch, no?
Video from The Stranger Editor Dan Savage, reviewing sex toys at a recent convention in Las Vegas. You will never look at a Swiss ball at the gym the same way again. Enjoy (the video, enjoy the video, what did you think I meant?)
