Best. Poem. Ever.
God save us from the Atheists--
They're even worse than Gays;
God save us from depravity and wicked, wicked ways.
They reek of impropriety
And decadence and sin
Their morals do not come from God, but rather from within!
Their Bedrock Moral Values
Are discarded in the dust;
No fear of Hell prevents them from succumbing to their lust!
Why, only our profound belief
In God's Most Holy Joys
Prevents us from--well, most of us--molesting altar boys!
As Jesus said, "forgive them"
In His final mortal breath--
We'd never bother cracker-thieves, nor threaten them with death.
Our Faith provides humility--
We know that we are flawed.
And sometimes our appeals for tithes are bordering on fraud
And looking through our history
Of meeting other cultures
It seems sometimes we're not quite doves so much as we are vultures
But through it all, we're moral
Cos we're acting in God's Name;
And when our culture goes to Hell... there's Atheists to blame.
13 years ago
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