Long Time, No Blog

Holy Toledo, it's been a long time. I haven't written anything in forever, and what I have put out there has been mostly stolen quotes from other people. So for both of my readers, here's what's going on.

I started consulting with a dietitian here in Ames back in October. Nothing fancy, just a lot of work: 6 small meals 3-4 hours apart, less sugar and fat, more vegetables and fiber, and writing everything down. Being a soda-and-cheese-based lifeform for so many years, it's tough, believe me. But it's also satisfying to implement a game plan that works. So far, my weight, which started at that time at around 310-315, is now comfortably between 290 and 295. So officially a 20 pound loss, by my count. Once it gets to 290 by the end of the year, I'll be happy with that---as a start. Because...

I've also joined a bicycle racing team for next year. Central Iowa Cycling Club's Color Biotics team. So now I'll officially be a cyclist, because I'll have my own racing licence and uniform. And boy, do I plan to feel and look out of place for the first year or so. But it's additional motivation to really keep the weight loss going. When you're 200 pounds or more, you're considered to be a Clydesdale in endurance sports. Cycling is a sport where power-to-weight ratio rules the roost. If you're overweight, you'll be humiliated. So I need to keep losing 10 pounds a month for, oh, a year or so. The goal is to be at 200 pounds for my 40th birthday in October.

I bought a new bicycle a couple weeks ago. It's a Trek Soho S (which stands for single-speed). Photos to come later. It's a no-shifting utility bike to which I've installed a rack and fenders. The question everyone asks me is, "Don't you still have that really expensive bike?" To which I answer, "Yes, but it's not practical to haul groceries in a Corvette." The rear rack will have a panier on it that will haul a sack of groceries to and from the store, which is only a mile from my house (ever tried to steer a bike holding a gallon jug of milk? Not fun). And it's a compliment to my collection. The Moots for speed, the cyclocross bike for rough conditions and bad weather commuting, and the Soho S for daily commutes and errands.

If I start drooling over the mountain bike displays, someone please stage an intervention.

Spin easy, friends.

"Doctor" Convicted Of Car/Bike Road Rage

From VeloNews.com:

A Los Angeles Superior Court jury on Monday found Dr. Christopher Thomas Thompson guilty of assaulting cyclists by abruptly stopping his car in front of them on a hilly Los Angeles County road last year.

Thompson, a former emergency room doctor, was found guilty of six felonies and one misdemeanor and could face as much as five years in prison.

It wasn't his first time doing that, either. And he had the gall to use the rapist's defense: They had it coming:

According to (Investigator Robert) Rodriguez, Thompson said, “I just live up the road. I was driving to go to work. The bikers were in front of me, three across. I honked my horn and yelled ‘ride single file.’ The bicyclists flipped me off and yelled back. I passed them up and stopped in front to teach them a lesson. I’m tired of them. I’ve lived here for years and they always ride like this.”

Motherfucker.

(aside: full credit to Dr. Bruce Rogen for happening on the scene and providing medical care to the injured cyclists. Dr. Rogen is a credit to his profession. Dr. Thompson should be stripped of his license on general principles)

For those of you wondering (and all the rest of you), yes, it's legal for cyclists to ride two-abreast on a road. If you don't like it, piss off. The earlier incident I mentioned involved two cyclists who DID move to single file when they heard Thompson's car coming, and he braked in front of them anyway. No more excuses, no more concessions. We've done our part, now it's up to the motorists to give us some respect. And if you've never been buzzed at arm's reach at 45 mph, I will take your opinion with a grain of salt--if that. We have the right to the road, and we're not going away.

I think I'm going to renew my membership to the Iowa Bicycle Coalition.

Beer Bike

I DO have a birthday coming up...

Tour Of Missouri: Political Chicanery

(First, congratulations to Dave Zabriske for winning the overall title. Good guys finishing first...love that)

The following statement is shocking coming from me, but I'm on board with a Republican, at least on this issue.

The Tour of Missouri bike race is ranked one of the best stage races in the world outside of Europe, and yet the Democratic governor of Missouri is trying to scuttle some of the funding:

"Missouri Gov. Jay Nixon hasn't exactly thrown his support toward continuing the race. The Democrat, voted into office last November, has taken a few shots at the Tour, and even tried to pull a $1.5 million tourism allocation for this year's race — a move that resulted in over 1,000 e-mails from race supporters.

Nixon has been at odds with Republican Lt. Governor Pete Kinder, leader of the state's tourism commission and a huge Tour of Missouri proponent. After failing to entice Nixon to watch one of the race stages, he plans to send a letter to the governor on Monday to set a meeting and talk about its future.

"It seems to build each year in interest, in excitement and viewership," Kinder said. "I think if we can put aside other differences and pull together, we can pull off an even better 2010 Tour of Missouri.""

That might be the most sensible thing I've heard a Republican say in years. I wonder what the Governor's side of the story is.

Beer + Pizza + Bicycle = WIN!

I think I'm in love.


If I was to put a fleet of these together for RAGBRAI, do you realize how much money I could make?

Via ManicSparkle.

Motorist Arrested For Iowa Cyclist's Death.

From the Des Moines Register:

A 79-year-old Winterset man was charged this morning in the Aug. 30 hit-and run death of bicyclist Mark Grgurich in Warren County.

Paul “Jud” McKinney, 79, is charged with leaving the scene of a fatality, concealment of evidence and failure to maintain control.

If convicted of all charges he faces more than seven years in prison.

McKinney's arraignment is set for Sept. 22.

Judge Kevin Park set his bail at $10,000 cash.

McKinney’s attorney asked that he be released because of an ailing wife, poor health and is a longtime resident of Madison County.

You know, I have mixed feelings on this one. I have a loved one in a nursing home, just like McKinney. And yeah, the guy's 79 years old and throwing people in prison won't bring that cyclist back to life. Concealing evidence? Easy to point fingers when it's not YOU.

What does kinda torque me off is the $10,000 cash bail. While the attorney makes a good point that the guy's wife needs him, it's not like she's not in a care facility already. I think the bail is too low. But objectively, I'd like to know what the average bail is for a hit-and-run accident in general, and then see if the bail is consistent with that standard.

One way or another, there's a dead cyclist in the ground. We need to stop that. And we need to keep after public officials and the officers of the court that we're not going to stop demanding justice.

Via BikeIowa.com.

Fat Cyclist Has A New Bike

Eldon "Fat Cyclist" Nelson lost his wife, Susan, to cancer last month. The following week, he got to give away a SICK excuse for a road bike as a prize for donating to his LiveSTRONG team: a 2010 Orbea Orca with Dura-Ace Di2 electronic shifting, and Dura-Ace carbon tubeless wheels. Like I said, a bike so sick, it should be sterilized instead of cleaned.

Naturally, Fatty was drooling on his keyboard as he blogged about it, saying he wanted to keep it so bad he could taste it.

Shimano and Orbea heard him.

Orbea gave him a ridiculous discount on an Orca frame.

Shimano GAVE him the Di2 drivetrain and DA carbon tubeless wheelset. That's about, oh, $5,000 worth of parts, fuhcryinoutloud.

Granted, if I was him, I'd rather ride a beat-up shop frame and still have my wife healthy and happy. But it's nice to see good things happen to good people.

Bike MS: Finally Finished!

I've been doing Bike MS events for 6 years now, and the 150-mile Bike MS for 5. I've never finished a two-day event under my own power before today.

Bike MS in Iowa works like this: The Des Moines and Cedar Rapids chapters of the National MS Society start off in their respective cities, ride to Marshalltown, stay overnight, and ride home the next day. Oh, and there are rest stops, energy drinks, energy bars, and lots and lots of home-made cookies in between. Oh, and bananas. LOTS of bananas. And the money goes to researching a nasty, debilitating bastard of a disease.

Well, the first year I did the two-day event (they were known as MS 150 events back then), I made it 132 miles out of 150 and quit. My legs wouldn't pedal anymore. That was back on my recently-departed Trek 2100 (I hope the new owner is getting good use out of it).

This year, I had the Invincible. I cannot adequately describe how much energy that bike saved me. Pedaling that bike is a joy--the bearings in the bottom bracked (cranks) and wheel hubs are so smooth you feel like you've got an extra mile per hour at your disposal.

And I needed it. The roads into Marshalltown are hilly, by Iowa standards. And that's saying something, because we are a rolling prairie kind of state. There isn't much here that's truly flat. So once I had 60 miles in my legs yesterday, THEN the road started getting interesting. I made it, but I walked one hill that looked and felt like it should double as a rock-climbing wall. And what was worse...at the very base of that hill was a set of railroad tracks with plenty of loose gravel. So the hill that would have been the most fun to barrel down with the brakes open was the one that was utterly unsafe to do so. Bummer.

I did cheat just a bit in one other aspect. There was a section coming out of the lunch stop in Maxwell (much love to Brenda Colvin and crew--you guys rock that rest stop) which went North, then West, then South out of Cambridge. I just went straight across and cut roughly 10 miles out of my way.

(We interrupt this regularly scheduled blog post so I can pet my cat).

Anyway...there was a very tiny wind out of the North, but it was enough to boost my legs to going 18-22 miles per hour going south on flat stretches, including NW State Street in Ankeny itself in the closing stretch. And I did a no-hands victory salute when I hit the parking lot at the finish line.

Official stats, according to my Polar computer:
135.2 miles total
10 hours 50 minutes total ride time.
Average speed, 12.4 mph
Maximum speed: 34 mph
Average heart rate: 155 bpm
Total kilocalories burned: 9,400.
Status of my legs: Don't ask...

Serious note: the number of riders doubled from last year. We're looking to keep that trend going. If you would like to participate in Bike MS, please contact your local chapter of the National MS Society.

I love you, Mom.

Compact Double vs. Triple Cranks

Only hard-core cycling dweebs need apply here.

Indoorcycling Championship Performance

Talk about German precision.



Via Bike Snob NYC.

Fat Cyclist Loses Wife To Cancer

Not just ANY fat cyclist--Eldon "Fat Cyclist" Nelson. His wife, Susan, succumbed to metastatic breast cancer Wednesday night.

I don't know Fatty as well as some (like some guy named Lance), but I'm catching up. This annual Christmas letter he wrote a few years ago strikes a nerve.

Go give him some love, please.

Bicycles, Women, Wine...Censorship???

So a wine maker puts out a vintage with a naked babe on a bicycle. How could I not blog about this?

Seriously, will these people never learn? If you ban something, you're putting more money in the pockets of the people making it. From AP:

"Alabama's ban on a wine that features a nude nymph on the label became a business opportunity for a California vintner who is preparing a marketing campaign to capitalize on being "Banned in Bama."

"The Alabama Alcoholic Beverage Control Board recently told stores and restaurants to quit serving Cycles Gladiator wine because of the label. Board attorney Bob Martin said the stylized, art-nouveau rendition of a nude female with a flying bicycle violated Alabama rules against displaying 'a person posed in an immoral or sensuous manner.'"

Uh-huh. I'm sure they ban all those beer commercials on tv, too. Not to mention the beer sales at the Alabama-Auburn football game before sending thousands of people out to drive home.

And frankly, this seems awfully tasteful.

You can get it on a bike jersey, too. I think I'm going to buy a case of this stuff.

Via NPR.

Quote of the Day

"It’s good for cycling and the Tour de France that we’re only talking about sporting issues during this Tour."
--Tour de France race leader Alberto Contador, on the lack of doping scandals to date.

Quote of the Day, Tour de France Edition

"So, like, Britney and Jennifer were like BFF since like forever but now they hate each other because Britney was dating Kevin and they broke up and now Jennifer is all into Kevin but the only reason that Britney really broke up with Kevin in the first place was to make him like her more. OMG."

Joe Lindsey of Bicycling Magazine, explaining the bickering nature of the politics of professional road cycling.

Why I Don't Ride RAGBRAI

When people find out that I'm a) a cyclist and b) from Iowa, they invariably ask, "So, do you ride RAGBRAI?" It's as predictable as an Evangelist's second or third sentence being, "So have you accepted Jesus Christ™ as your personal lord and savior?" To which the answer (to both) is no.

Why not?

Stuff like this:



The aforementioned playah is partaking in a pre-RAGBRAI Bacchanal at an undisclosed, top-secret location. Sorry, I'm ambivalent enough about being in the same state as this guy, let alone the same line of a beer tent.

Spin easy, friends. Ride safe.

Expensive Unicycle

I don't speak Italian, but I'm impressed.



Via Moots Blog.

Maybe Hawkeyes Are OK, After All...

Well, one of them, at least.

Nate Kaeding of the San Diego Chargers has cut a "Watch Out for Bicycles" PSA. Love.



Full story here.

I Need This Laugh

The Idiocy of Airline Security

My friend, Jesse, will appreciate this one. Pro bike racer Phil Gaimon, on the TSA zombies:

"To get my bike bag down to 49 pounds (and under the airline overweight limit), I took various parts out of my bag at random, tossing them into my carry-on. Going through security, I found it interesting that cranks and chainrings were permitted on the flight, but my iced tea was deemed too dangerous."

Hey, as long as it fit all the way under the seat in front of him...

Seriously, a bike crank could do more damage than the improvised weapons the 9/11 terrorists used, you just have to know how to swing one properly.

Dumbasses.

Bike Wheel Failure

Terrifying...

"Coming around a corner, I felt a shimmy through the front of my bike. I straightened up out of the turn to bring the bike under control. A second or two later I catapulted over the handlebars. The rim of my front wheel had completely detached from the hub. I had not hit anything — not another rider, a curb or even a rock. I landed on my head and broke my shoulder. "

It doesn't help Mavic that the guy who had a wheel come apart on him was Ben Delaney of VeloNews magazine. Nor that he contends that he will continue to ride their wheels in the future. Mavic has some 'splaining to do.
---
Later: Bike Snob NYC has a take here. He makes a vital point: It takes moxie on the part of Mavic to suggest that a bike wheel's catastrophic failure was somehow "rider error," especially given the circumstances.
--
Later: Mavic responds. Defensively.