Friendly Atheist On Non-Religious Wedding Vows

How delightful is this...? Hemant Mehta over at Friendly Atheist has some gems from the non-theistic community that put the traditional wedding vows in the shade. I recognized this piece, as I gave a framed copy of it to my cousin, John and his wife, Hannah for their wedding:

"Now you will feel no rain, for each of you will be the shelter for the other. Now you will feel no cold, for each of you will be the warmth to the other. Now you are two persons, but there is only one life before you. Go now to your dwelling, to enter into the days of your life together, and may your days be good and long upon the earth."

Nice job, Hemant.

Bill Donohue Brings Teh Stoopid--Bonus Simpson's Edition

The gift just keeps on giving. It's actually an act in three parts. Act I: The Simpsons' 20th Halloween special:

One of the shorts was “Don’t Have a Cow, Mankind,” and it deals with a zombie-creating burger that infects all who eat it. Bart eats a burger and manages to stay safe, though, so he is referred to as the “Chosen One.” They have to take him to the Safe Zone in order to create an antidote.

When Marge gets him there, we hear this exchange:

Guard: “Welcome, son. To survive, all we must do is eat your flesh.”

Marge: “Hold it right there, Bub! What kind of civilized people eat the body and blood of their savior?”

Rev. Lovejoy: [Groans nervously]

Act II: Billy-boy's response:

What kind of uncivilized people work at Fox? Last year, when they poked some gentle fun at the Apostle’s Creed on the Halloween episode, we said nothing. That’s because it didn’t cross the line. This year is different: mocking the heart of any religion always crosses the line, and mocking the Eucharist does it for Catholics. They know this at Fox, which is precisely why they did it.

Act III--Hemant Mehta speaks for all of us:

Actually, there’s nothing wrong with mocking the “heart of any religion,” and Holy Communion is perfectly fair game. Let Catholics defend the practice of eating Jesus. The rest of us can call it what it is: absurd.

Via Friendly Atheist.

Ray Comfort Comes Cheap

I can think of any of a number of ways I'd rather spend $5. This, however, is not one of them.

"To be an atheist is to play Russian roulette with all the chambers loaded," explains best-selling author Ray Comfort, and in his latest book, he proves it. And today only, WND readers can get "You Can Lead an Atheist to Evidence, But You Can't Make Him Think" – autographed – for just $4.95, a $21 discount from the normal $25.95 price!"

Translation: We'll shine your shoes if you'll take one of these stupid books off our hands...we need the space in the warehouse. It makes me think of Abbie "ERV" Smith's comment about Michael Behe giving out $6.99 blowjobs on Amazon.com.

For those of you who don't know Ray Comfort, here's all you need to know about this Creationist twit...



A suitable parody, ala MST3K:



And the science. Pay attention, kiddos, there will be a quiz:



Chowderhead.

Via Friendly Atheist.

Olbermann: What DOES The Bible Say About War?

Recent documents have come forth showing that Donald Rumsfeld deliberately manipulated that Christian fanatic of a president of his into going into war with Iraq. Now, it turns out Bush left the president of France scratching his head, too...

"[There] are new accounts emerging from France describing how former president Jacques Chirac was utterly baffled by a 2003 telephone conversation in which Bush reportedly invoked fanatical Old Testament prophecy – including the Earth-ending battle with forces of evil, Gog and Magog – in his arguments to enlist France in the Coalition of the Willing.

“This confrontation is willed by God, who wants to use this conflict to erase his people’s enemies before a New Age begins,” Bush said to Chirac, according to Thomas Romer, a University of Lausanne theology professor who was later approached by French officials anxious to understand the biblical reference. Romer first revealed his account in a 2007 article for the university review, Allez savoir, which passed largely unnoticed.

Chirac, in a new book by French journalist Jean-Claude Maurice, is quoted as confirming the surreal conversation, saying he was stupefied by Bush’s reference to biblical prophecy and “wondered how someone could be so superficial and fanatical in their beliefs.”"

Wow. Just...wow. No wonder the right-wingers hate the French...they can smell bullshit when exposed to it.

Keith Olbermann recently had Dr. C. Welton Gaddy, president of the Interfaith Alliance, to talk about this. Gaddy basically says what us freethinkers have known all along--you can quote-mine the Bible to justify any position you want to take (except the fact that there is no God, but that's another discussion).

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Via Friendly Atheist

Irish Pristly Rape: Followup

The Archbishop of Dublin admits to their failure in this case:

"The church has failed people. The church has failed children. There is no denying that. This can only be regretted and it must be regretted. Yet “sorry” can be an easy word to say. When it has to be said so often, then “sorry” is no longer enough.

But “sorry” must always be the first word."

And this absolutely speaks to the heart of it:

"The first thing the church has to do is to move out of any mode of denial. That was the position for far too long and it is still there."

I might take a stronger stance on this by saying the clergy's denial has been in place for so long and to such an institutionalized degree that it could be considered criminal negligence, and in some cases outright evil. But I'll take denial, until I see further evidence of it, at which point I'll start hammering away with "evil" again.

Sadly, the admission by the Irish Church isn't stopping Ireland's political parties from scoring points on each other. And as this poor gentleman in this video points out, the longer that happens, the longer the day of some closure comes to the victims.

HT: Pharyngula and Friendly Atheist.

Greta Christina: 11 myths about atheism

This blog post is completely full of win. Money quote:

"If you want to criticize atheists, individually or as a movement, please do. We're not perfect, and the current incarnation of our movement is fairly young, with all the flaws of a young social movement.

But don't spread lies about us. Don't fearmonger about us. Don't assume that you know who we are without listening to what we have to say.

And don't criticize us in ways that are just meant to shut us up.

Thanks."

Via Friendly Atheist.